stranger danger round two

I've (once again) proven to be one of the worst bloggers ever. Actually, that's not accurate because I would have to blog consistently to acquire that title. It's been awhile since January 24 and for those of us who are familiar with calendars and life's relentless rapidness most likely realize that a lot has happened since then; a lot that I either don't remember or just don't find important enough to stop and blog about. Regardless, I'm not going to take the next 2 hours typing out every detail of my life from the past 2 months. Instead, I'm going to ramble while you make the decision to either exit out of this right now, or take the next 3 minutes (yes, I timed how long it takes to read this post and if it takes you longer than that then you're a really slow reader) of your life reading about randomosities that you may or may not take anything away from.


Just for the record: randomosities is a made up word. I think it should be a real word; Webster is missing out.

So right here, right now, make a decision: click to confirm your absence, or scroll to join me in a textual journey filled with mis-structured syntax and improper diction.

For those of you who obviously aren't important aspects of my life and don't know that I transferred to UT in the spring, I'm letting you know now that I transferred to UT in the spring.

With that said, because UT (unlike SMU) is a private school, they have to do what the Texas State Legislate says and make their students take a butt ton of basics. Because of this, my spring semester has been filled with boring basic courses; forcing me to consume mass amounts history, government, and natural sciences that I have no interest in learning anything about.

SMU spoiled me - they let me take as many english/writing courses as my little heart desired. This semester, I'm in one. ONE little english class that's not even a writing class. A class where all we do is analyze religious and old foundational American literature. This is problematic in that I NEED to write.

I have quite an imagination - I'm pretty sure I daydream and run through numerous made-up scenarios with made-up people in my head more than the average person:

I hear or makeup a phrase that I think would work well in a story while taking a shower and I write it down; I come up with a character bio in my head while grocery shopping and voice record it; I think up a title or a perfect opening for a story while on a run and write it down in a mostly blank word document.

I spend my day verbalizing the visual appearance of my surroundings so I can describe things better in text, but when there's no alloted time for me to sit down and write I find myself surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper, abandoned voice recordings, and unedited, half-written, word documents that may very well go unused for all of eternity.

So you see, I need it to be next semester so I can scrounge my way into a few fiction courses. This summer will be a desperate attempt to knock out a good majority of the brainwashing basics I have left so an ideal academic schedule can be achieved.

Until then, all I can do is hope that the genius behind each unfinished phrased and raw description continues to exist until I find the time to turn it into something of substance.

Until next time.

Long time, no blog.

I know, I know; I haven't blogged in forever. And forever in this instance isn't an exaggeration. This always seems to happen: I create a blog, blog a decent amount pretty consistently, then all of a sudden.........nothing............ Days go by. They turn into weeks which turn into months and next thing I know the world is completely disconnected from my somewhat personal life.

This pattern would of continued to, well... continue if it hadn't been for the brave, bold words of Haley King. So fellow bloggers, you have Haley to thank for this post and hopefully more to follow.

Enough with the sappy introductions, it's time to get down to what's important. So there's this tree... yes, a tree. I've passed it on my run three nights in a row now and each time I stare at it wondering, "I've seen a lot of trees in my days, but this one, this one reminds me of an especially special tree." Then I end up spending the rest of my run digging through the abundance of useless information I have stored away in my brain. Tonight, somewhere in between irrational survival tips and worthless, memorized laffy-taffy package jokes, I found what I had been rummaging for. The tree looks EXACTLY like the one on Ernest Scared Stupid!

You know, the one the troll lives in.

How I remember these things but fail to memorize the date the Constitution was signed or where I left my car keys, I'm not sure. But what I am sure about is that Ernest Scared Stupid was filmed in Austin and they used that tree... That or it just has some similarities. Either conclusion seems pretty reasonable.

On a completely different note and I use note in both of it's contexts, my significant other has purchased a Banjo. I'm unreasonably excited about this investment. Now, I just need to buy some bag pipes and we can become quite the pair; not that we aren't already.

Good evening to all of you. I'm going to try and keep up this here website and if I don't, follow Haley's example and feel free to publicly harass me about it.

Here comes the grand finale...

Today: Free day. The most I plan to exert my brain or any other part of my body is during game night tonight :) COME!


Saturday: Study for Calculus III all day. I'm looking for a tutor and WILL pay.


Sunday: Study for Shakespeare all day. Don't need a tutor for that.


Monday: Wake up early. Eat a hearty breakfast. Write 3 in class essays for my Shakespeare final.


Tuesday: Continue studying for Calculus. Spend the majority of the day in my professor's office freaking out.


Wednesday: Sleep in. Wake up. Eat a hearty brunch and pray to God I pass my Calculus final.

• Wednesday Night: Drive to Austin/Leave Dallas forever (estimated time of arrival: 11:00 p.m.)

Thursday: Meet with apartment finder bright and early. Hopefully find something relatively quickly so I don't have to worry about it for the rest of break.

• Thursday Night: Watch mindless movies (mainly the Imogen DVD) with Jessica and celebrate me finding my husband somewhere in Austin.

Friday: Go home.

So close. But so far.

For a someone.

The smell of books and chatter of the senile saturated the room.
There you were in your chair, unmoving in anticipation.

I took a seat.
Close enough for recognition.
Far enough for avoidance.

You said my name.
I turned.
We talked.

Talked of things old and new,
Things of irrelevance.
Things of simplicity.
Things that filled the silence.

Our time was cut short.
It was your time now,
No longer ours.

As you spoke I sat motionless;
Pretending to listen.

My gaze pierced your divergent eyes.
Begging them to look my way,
Afraid of my reaction if they did.

Your voice sang in my ears.
Your charm subdued my stare.
The bitter taste of stale coffee blanketed my tongue.

I wanted you.

I imagined what it would be like.
I imagined us in a coffee shop.
I imagined easy conversation decorated in laughter
Where your hand would naturally brush against my own
And your smile would derive from me.

Imagined a time when you would look at me as a someone.
Imagined a time when I would be your inspiration.
A time when you would call me her and us we.

The slapping of claps tore into me and revealed what would never be.
There you stood, seemingly by yourself;
The ring on your finger stating otherwise.

You looked at me and smiled.
Not at me, but for me.

You were out of time and I was too late.

Tempting...

I'm thinking about posting one of my most recent stories (the only one I haven't grown to hate) on this here blog.

However, I worry about copyright (even thought I doubt anyone would steal it but you never know) Not to mention the mere thought of making one of my stories severely public is a little intimidating.

I doubt I'll go through with it. Although, I'm a little too spontaneous for my own good so I may one day (in the moment) decide it's a really good idea and put it up.

I need to stop procrastinating. I'm supposed to be studying for Calc III.
Sara and I are going to the musical at 9. I'm excited.
You should come too; it's free.
It's about spelling bee children; how strange; how original. I hope they sing the spellings. I doubt they will.

Sara introduced me to Mitch Hedberg tonight; if he were still alive, I would track him down and marry him.

Watch this, you won't regret it: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IueXtzdC6kA

I'm going to study for the next hour(ish). Also, if you have an iPhone or if you're unfortunate enough to own a droid go download heytell. It's the best app ever. It's free. I'm obsessed. 

If you don't have either of those things, then (I guess) you can just text me. If I don't answer, refer to two posts ago... the line about texting me.

Buh-Bye for now.

CHOCOLATE MILK.

"Yes I'm blue, but from holding my breath"

Spanksgiving's over! You know what that means?!?! 

I'll give you a hint: Red Bull, Adderall, and sleep deprivation are all involved. That's right kids, it's almost finals week!

*applause*

I'm already losing it.

I'll post a real entry again one day...

after life lets me out of its chokehold.

Until then good luck with finals, wish me the same.

Or not.

My name is Jordan and I am Passive Aggressive.

To no one.... More like a correlations of things that have been bothering me:

• You're not good looking, you're fat. Get over yourself.
• You're bad at acting happy. Accept that you're not. There's nothing wrong with having a moment of discontent.
• Being nice doesn't mean that I have to like you. It's this thing called being a friend... A damn good one at that.
• I wish you were more clear in your feelings; you keep me on my toes. I don't like being left on my toes, it makes my calves burn.
• Stop lying, I think you're developing a habit of it.
• If I don't text you back it probably means I don't want to talk to you.
• I hate you. I just need to start acting like it.
• Hate is a strong word. In this case, it's necessary.
• You're settling... or do I just tell myself that?
• I wish you would learn to see the quality of life without money. You're too materialistic, you live vicariously through expensive things; it's sad, really.
• You're fading fast. Come back.
• I miss you, I want to make you proud. I desire to be half the woman you've become.
• Don't ever criticize my family again, I'm embarrassed that I didn't say anything.

And to even the score:

• I'm a hypocrite. 
• I lie about stupid things.
• I'm insecure.
• I'm the biggest flake I know.
• I'm horrible at keeping secrets.
• I daydream like it's my job.
• I have awful selective hearing.
• I complain about not doing well in a class when I don't try as hard as I should.
• I'm to blame about a lot of the things I complain about.
• I envy a lot of people for random things.

I'm done being a negative nancy.... Just had to get some of those things out.

ONE MORE CLASS UNTIL BREAK.